Mello still wasn't sure exactly how to explain everything he'd done to Kersen. He knew the other man would likely be angry, so he was prepared some for that, but he hoped in the end that he would see Mello could help, and still be safe.
It had taken a bit for him to find a good opportunity to speak to Kersen. It wasn't very busy, though there still were some people drinking and talking. Since he doubted he'd be needed for too much for the rest of the night he headed towards the office. He closed the door behind him going over to Kersen kissing him softly on the lips.
"Very busy?" He asked softly as he still mentally worked on what exactly he was going to say. He decided it best not to keep anything back, since it would likely bite him in the ass if it came up later at a very bad time.
It had taken him quite a few weeks of practice until he felt satisfied to perform in front of Kersen. He wasn't looking too closely at the fact that the other man's opinion was becoming quite important to him. Nope he simply stuck that away as he waited for the perfect opportunity, which came after everything had settled down for the night. The place was empty except for the normal workers, and Kersen.
With a quick signal to the piano player he took advantage of a moment when the other man wasn't in the office, or in the back somewhere. Before he second guess himself he started singing. It would be obvious to anyone with any training that he hadn't been, mostly by his range and breathing, but his sense of pitch was good, as was his sense of rhythm, and his voice was strong and pleasant. He also didn't hold back letting himself get lost in the song.
The song he had picked wasn't too long, but he thought quite a bit it spoke to a lot of what he and Kersen had gone through.
When he finished he threw a quick, "Thank you." to the piano player before heading over to where Kersen was sitting.
He kissed him softly before asking, "So what did you think?" Usually he didn't bother to hide his emotions, he wasn't good at it anyway, but he was doing his best not to appear too nervous as he spoke.
((The song is "F***ing Perfect by P!nk. Link to video with the song
. And the lyrics
It had started out with the best of intentions. Mello had finished with what he'd been working on for Kersen that night and as he passed the doorway of the man's office he'd decided there was no time like the present, at least where it came to the two of them having a date. He wanted to still keep some element of surprise to it, but he figured that it didn't hurt to figure out a few things that could help make whatever they ended up doing more special.
He was leaning in the doorway of the office when a pain hit him. It was more intense than the others and he clutched his chest as a soft sound of distress escaped his lips. It passed quickly enough, but not before he was sure his reaction couldn't help but be noticed by the other man who was at his desk.
When Kersen had called and told him not to come in for a few days he had to admit his first reaction was to say fuck it and show up anyway forcing the other man to tell him what was going on, because there had be something that was unsaid prompting it. It was only after hearing a few things when he began to suspect the reasons for it that he abandoned that plan and decided he should simply talk to Kersen, which was why he was knocking just after sunset.
He paced as he waited for the door to open and barely waited a second before saying, "What gives?" Even if he couldn't exactly argue with being careful there was only so much of it he could take. He wasn't used to sitting back and watching things happening around him and not doing something so there was only so much staying away, being on watch, he was willing to give. Yes, he knew things could get very dangerous, and the other vampires might get desperate, and while he he could acknowledge there were things that had to be done he couldn't help but feel somehow that this was giving them way too much power, but then again he could accept his perspective of it all might be a little skewed in the end.
Mello had been doing quite a bit of thinking since talking to Darius. A part of him felt a little bit like he was back at Wammy's and Roger was telling him what to do, claimed it was for his own good, but mostly he felt it was just to make things easier for the other man. That wasn't completely fair, and not completely an accurate comparison, but then he didn't exactly feel any of them was owed fairness given everything. He should be way fucking past that at this point. Hadn't he earned at least a little respect with everything he'd accomplished? Well, he hadn't told Darius anything about his past so he supposed that couldn't even factor into it, and why should it? He wasn't the only person out there who believed running and hiding, being scared, was no way to live. Maybe others didn't actually seek out the risky in life, but his upbringing encouraged it in a way that was probably hard to explain to others. He was all for surviving, and he'd do whatever it took when it came to his own life, but there was basic surviving and then there was actually living. Let Near have his sterile rooms and all the FBI and CIA around him. That kind of life wasn't for him. And that wasn't just bitterness and sour grapes talking either. Hell, even how sheltered they'd been at Wammy's was suffocating a bit when he let himself think about it now. Did that mean he'd be in danger? Sure. But he'd not go down without a fight. And he also was curious as to what was up with the other man. He outright said he was of the 'dangerous', and there had been that laugh so familiar, so what did that mean? And would he simply say it or would Mello have to figure it out on his own?
The simple thing of it was it was bothering him, and when something bothered him enough to stay at the forefront of his attention like this way it meant he needed to do something, anything. What he decided to do about it was to go to Jazzmin, in some ways pretty much the opposite of what the other man had told him to do. Surprisingly, at least just this once, he wasn't just doing it to be contrary, or to prove some sort of point. There were many unsaid things in the conversation he'd had with the other man. The most important of these was if he planned to survive should Kira end up here he was convinced he needed allies. He honestly had no reason to suspect the mass murderer would come to the city, but he'd rather be prepared. And it definitely wouldn't hurt if these allies were dangerous themselves. And them not being human might be just the advantage he needed. It was also possible that the serial killer wouldn't be the only problem from his past that showed up, so it seemed all more the more important to him. Also, if he didn't know what all was out there, wasn't aware of what the nasty ones out there were capable of, what the hell would he do when he couldn't run, even if he wanted to? You needed knowledge. And also, why run when maybe, just maybe, you could make a deal with one of them. So he needed to know and that was that. He sort of avoided how much of it might be the curiosity of his younger self fed on all those stories.
So here he was sitting at a seat that allowed him to have a pretty good view of the place. He could watch the comings and goings of people this way. He made sure to do his best to not be too obvious about it, but it was necessary.
See the thing was there were certain rules, at least to his way of thinking, of being the 'new' guy. The first was don't act like a new guy. It wasn't exactly a crime to go somewhere you didn't know about, but you didn't need to be obvious about it and metaphorically wear that sign on your back. Don't cause trouble, be polite, don't be pushy, watch what others did and learn the rules and you would likely be welcomed. Also, it didn't hurt to do a bit of homework, but that wasn't as simple this time so he hoped what little he knew from talking to Fin, and what he could observe around him, was enough. The second rule was to know your place. In essence, don't be afraid to ask if you weren't sure, just do it intelligently. And if you do cause a problem very simply do whatever was asked of you to fix it. The third rule was watch. Someone might fuck up and if you were good you could get the chance to take their place. Okay so maybe these rules were skewed by his time on the streets and with the mob, but they worked and that was all that mattered.
He took a sip of his drink definitely liking the music. The singer was really good and he let himself simply enjoy being in a nice bar for just a few minutes. It'd be a shame when the show ended.
On one hand having worked as a prostitute, and later an escort, he has a pretty practical view of sex. There are certain 'rules' that he has for his own behavior and when business isn't involved he still keeps as much distance as he can emotionally. He is adaptable in this as in any other area of his life and does top as well as bottom. Also, he's open to experimenting, as long as everyone is on the same page, and he is very set in making sure everyone is on the same page. He does his best to be attentive and adjust to whatever the person he's with seems to want.
On the other hand he does enjoy sex and doesn't bother admitting that, or showing himself off. He is confident and likes to flirt, even if he doesn't think anything will come of it. That's part of the game of it all in his mind. He likes to stand out and his appearance, and comfort with sex, is simply one other way for him to do that.
While he probably does have the capability to be jealous he, so far in his life, hasn't really had it crop up. Maybe, at least so far, he hasn't slept with someone that is important enough for him to get worked up over.
He doesn't really do labels believing that whoever you find attractive is free game as long as everyone consents. He has slept with men and women.
Even though I stick to canon as closely as possible there are a few things that are particular to my Mello:
He is of Russian decent. There really isn't any canon info on his nationality, and it doesn't really matter, but this stuck in my head and I've sort of went with it.
His mother was an actress. Again there is no background for this. It's just sort of come out of nowhere for me.
He is a good singer, and really fond of music. Again there is no evidence for this other than it seems to fit a little with his 'image'.
He is an avid reader and enjoys vampire stories. There is evidence for the avid reader, but not so much the vamp obsession. Oh well. *grins*
The truth is I don't intend to pick between the two of you. I never did. Once Watari pressured me to get more involved, to avoid the problems with A and B, I had decided that I would comply, but for my own reasons. The world doesn't need another L. That was his mistake. I hardly care for the world, but in all honesty even I admit, as I have thought about my death many times, I do not wish to be forgotten, and I do not wish to leave nothing behind. It is selfish, I admit, but it will also be good for the world so I suppose this one my selfishness can be allowed without too much of a harsh look, yes? Now, to continue: Mello, I know you feel you are inferior to Near, and I want it made very clear that is not, was never, the case. I picked both of you and I stand behind the logic of that decision. You let your emotions lead and while that can be a dangerous thing it is necessary in some cases. Cold logic is important, but it is not the only way to solve a case, or to live. And isn't that the point? I lived as I wanted and I want the same for the both of you. You passionately want to be L, unlike Near, and that is a crucial point. You are compassionate, even if sometimes your anger does get in the way. Roger has told me how you watch over the newer kids, how you do your best to prevent bullying, and how even if you seem to hate him powerfully, you have never laid hands on Near, or used words that would cut him. You give of yourself in a way I could never understand, and yes if I must admit, admire. You show yourself honestly and that is something I could never do.
It scares me that because of this, and your reckless impetuous nature, that you likely will not live very long. I hope you do not mind I have been so blunt, it is merely the truth as I see it, but I believe if you were to work with Near he would curb that and you would be a person he could trust implicitly, and that is something that will be necessary. Very simply put the two would compliment each other well, and therefore would be able to surpass me.
Also, I must mention that I told you of my past, because I felt if there was any time to share something of myself that was it. I knew the Kira case could lead to my death and I didn't want to leave certain things unsaid. And I knew you would appreciate the significance as much as the information.
Act as my heart, Mihael, because I am not completely sure I have one left and this way I know, that maybe, it doesn't matter.
He speaks English, Russian, Japanese and German fluently.
He is very good with guns, though not as good as Matty.
He has had some basic forensic training
He has some basic knowledge of psychological tactics that are used against hostages/prisoners to get them to cooperate, to foster changes in their personality etc...
He has some very basic interrogation knowledge
He had a very good, if informal, education that covered varied topics that will be helpful in becoming a world renowned detective. No specifics are given, but I'm going to concentrate anything he knows on law enforcement techniques and anything he would have been taught in dealing with criminals or being in danger himself. AKA No physics for example, but chemistry for forensic applications.
ADDED: It is canon that he is an author, with a unique sense of style, so yeah. So sorry I didn't add this sooner.
This may be added to as I rewatch but I think that covers it